All The Shells I Picked Up At The Beach

they were so pretty.

i only picked up 

the very

shiniest.

like a bird that likes to eat shiny things

or my dog.

my dog also likes to eat shiny things.

sometimes i like to eat shiny things, too.

i think that's what advanced academic placement really is.

they dress it up like we're really smart,

but i suspect that it's actually

for special kids 

who try to eat shiny things

like me.

RAWR

A Pretty Shell I Found

i heard that 

shells are 

different colors

depending on what

they eat.

this shell looks like 

the sunset.

that means that

the shell

ate the sunset

and that's why

there's now 

a hole in the ozone.

RAWR

Trying To Get A Picture Of Me Jumping

all i wanted

was one good picture

just one.

and what did i get?

a load of crap.

i decided to put it online anyway.

RAWR

My Footprints In Wet Sand

when i walk in the sand

i contemplate 

 the meaning

of life

and i wonder 

why i am

here on earth

and then i 

trip and fall

into the ocean.

and i get wet.

RAWR

My New Favorite Band

thought I was lookin' good

so I cycled 'cross the neighborhood

was invited by a skinny girl

into her high class world

left my bicycle under the stairs

laid my coat across the kosher chairs

made my way across the crowded room

i had nothing to lose

my reception wasn't very keen

so turning on a friendly grin

stood on the table with my glass of gin

and came straight to the point

 i was glad to come

i'll be sad to go

so while I'm here

i'll have me a real good time

i was glad to come

i'll be sad to go

so while I'm here

i'll have me a real good time

dancing madly round the room, yeah

singing loudly and sorta' out of tune

was escorted by a friendly slag

'round the bedroom and back

wandered across the door

missed my step and I fell on the floor

said one word and I was asked to leave

kinda' wish I was dead

i was glad to come

and I'll be so sad to go

but while I was here

i had me a real good time

the skinny girl made it clear

that she only came here for the beer

that's a fact, oh, yeah

the vicar, he simply reeked of gin

on my way home

i happened to fall off my bicycle

good party

i was glad to come

but I was also glad to get home

copied from metro-lyrics

RAWR

Eau De Parfume

some really good perfume i got at the mall.

lady gaga's 

perfume.

here, smell it!

RAWR

A Really Good Breakfast I Got At A Motel.

we were going to have breakfast.

 we were like 

"oh, this place is going to have a sucky breakfast"

 and we get there, and there is a waffle iron and like 15 different types of cereal.

and this is what i had.

all that sugar.

i

went

insane.

RAWR